I've never been super open about what goes on in my mind, I usually just make dark jokes about it. This is just a small fraction of what my brain tells me. These are my problems to deal with and mostly something I'm ashamed of. Sometimes I convince myself its b.s and I know some of it is b.s. but Some times I desperately need a reminder. I know my son loves me very much and I would never take myself away from him because I know how bad that would hurt him. I would never want to be without him or
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